So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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