what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
