Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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