these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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