I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
