i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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