I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
