I cockslap morals
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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