puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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