She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
