You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
