you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
handjob tips. give me some.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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