So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
