I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
