The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
