Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
