It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
