The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
