There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
