the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
