I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
