So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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