I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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