Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize