i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize