Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
