you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
