I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize