Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
