Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This girl is more easily done than said...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
