Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
