I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
