sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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