quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
