Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
