So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
