I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
