I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
