imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
