I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize