We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
