clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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