You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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