You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
