Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
