I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
