i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
