I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
