the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
