I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
