I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
