my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
