Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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