Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
