you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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