You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
