You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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