Dual....:-)
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
